


in case you need reminding

by t_hens



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Reality, interactive introverts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:34:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_hens/pseuds/t_hens
Summary: It starts with just a quick flinch when their fingers brush together as Dan hands Phil his morning coffee, but the feeling carries on into their morning, making Phil feel the familiar unease with how they are present themselves to the people around them.But an afternoon together, and a quite moment give Phil the reflection he needs and reminds him that what they have is good, it's just different.





	in case you need reminding

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by the first few lines of [Preacher](https://open.spotify.com/track/4Mh41wi3ob9Rfo35xZbaCH) by Years & Years off of their new album (which I'm completely obsessed with)  
> this honestly took a different route than what I was expecting but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> as always, thank you to my beta [fourthingsandawizard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourthingsandawizard/pseuds/fourthingsandawizard). she's the best and I'm so lucky I get to work with her :)

The heat feels a bit unbearable, even in the air conditioned room he’s currently hiding in. Phil knew it would be; England in the summer was nothing compared to the sweltering heat of Florida in July. He thinks about just going back to their hotel room and trying to take a nap, but he knows there isn’t time today. Dan had too much energy and too many things he wanted to do, and he was never great at telling Dan no.

Just as he’s thinking of going to find Dan and seeing if he wants to go search for coffee, Dan comes in with a few crew members, coffees in hand. Phil moans out his appreciation as Dan hands him his drink, not missing the way that Dan flinches a little when their fingers brush as he takes the drink. He tries not to take it personally. Phil knows that it’s just because they are in a room full of people they don’t really know, and Dan is always a bit weary of physical contact when they can avoid it, but it still stings a bit.

“So!” Dan says a little loudly. “Phil and I are gonna walk down to the docks to look at the boats, if anyone wants to join us.”

Everyone declines, too busy with work or plans of their own to join them, and the room clears out. Dan sits down next to Phil, thighs pressing together, and knocks his knee into Phil’s.

“How’s your drink? They didn’t have soy milk, so I went with almond milk.”

The thing about spending 99% of your time with another person is that they know your moods and mannerisms almost as well as you do. So it’s no surprise to Phil when Dan picks up on Phil’s shift in mood.

“It’s good. Thank you. Are you ready to go?” 

Dan searches Phil’s face for a second before nodding and standing up, offering his hand to help Phil up. Phil takes it and tries to let the little squeeze Dan gives before releasing settle him.

They make their way through the busy streets full of tourists and people like themselves, all enjoying their day in a foreign city doing nothing of importance. Dan stops several times and tries to buy useless trinkets because of their ‘aesthetics,’ and has to physically drag Phil away from a candy store. By the time they arrive at the docks, the equilibrium between them has mostly returned to normal.

The ocean is beautiful and the sun is shining, and it puts Phil at ease a little. The tour has been a lot. A new city every night, meeting so many new people; so much all the time. Little moments of stolen time like this where it’s just him and Dan and somewhere quiet makes him feel a bit more like himself and not the frantic, stressed version of him that’s been present for the past few months.

He can feel Dan staring at him from the corner of his eye, so he glances over and smiles a little shyly at the intensity of Dan’s stare.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” 

He wipes at his face, feeling self conscious to be looked at with such scrutiny, but Dan just chuckles a little and smiles.

“No, it’s just a good face. I like looking at it.”

Phil blushes and shakes his head. 

“You’re a sap.”

He says it without any real venom behind his words, and his smile widens as he feels Dan’s hip bump into his. 

“Yeah, but you love me, so it’s okay.”

“I guess that’s true,” Phil says with an eye roll. 

He steps a little closer so their shoulders are pressed together and is relieved when Dan doesn’t step away. It’s a reassuring moment that makes him want to apologize for earlier, but the words die on the tip of his tongue.

It’s a conversation they have had a million and one times, and this one wouldn’t be any different. They both know the ramifications of having a relationship that’s so out and open to the public. They deal with the pressure and questions now and it’s all speculation. If they were to make a declarative statement or action, there would never be another moment between them that felt like it was just for the two of them. That was something they had both agreed on each time the conversation was brought up.

That didn’t stop Phil from wanting it; wanting to be able to hold Dan’s hand whenever he wanted, to kiss him on a whim, or to even let their fingers brush without feeling like they were being surveyed. He knows that Dan has a harder time with it, the constant attention to every touch and look between them, so he knows bringing it up will only make him feel worse than he probably already does.

Dan had come a long way in the past year. They both had, but for Dan it was in leaps and bounds. He was trying to become more comfortable in his own skin and, even harder, in his own mind. But there were still bad days, days when he couldn’t help being overly cautious and distant. Those days were always followed up by him feeling guilty and miserable because he felt like Phil deserved more than he was being given. 

Phil knew that wasn’t true though. Neither of them were perfect, and just like he would love nothing more than to be a normal, affectionate couple, he loved his life with Dan and wouldn’t trade it. He knew there would come a day when they could live that life together, when their hands brushing in a room full of people wouldn’t make Dan flinch, and Phil wouldn’t feel the resulting sting of that flinch, but until then he knew he could enjoy what they did have. They had their private lives, things that no one got to see or ever would. They also had moments like this, completely out in the public, that felt just as intimate as a kiss sometimes did. 

“You’re getting pink. You forgot sun cream, didn’t you?”

Phil nods and feels his cheek, surprised by the heat coming from it. Dan rolls his eyes affectionately, grabbing Phil’s hand to pull him back to the venue and squeezing it for a second, the action settling the last piece of unease in Phil’s chest. The small gesture is all the affirmation that Phil needs to know that what they have is good and works. Sometimes he just needed a reminder.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr @tobieallison or on Pillowfort @t_hens :)


End file.
